Why my 2023 failures, rather than my successes, are the things that will drive me more in 2024
It’s the morning of the first working Monday of 2024 and I have chosen to spend it writing my first blog of the year, but what should the topic be?
This time of year there’s a lot written about resolutions, that could be a topic.
Are you a resolutions kind of person?
I’m not and I’ve already written about that topic 2 years ago so this blog will not be about that; plus many of you may have already given up on your resolutions anyway
I am a person who loves setting myself goals and, as I outlined in that same blog, every year I create a set of goals that cover my career/business, my health, my family/friends/community, my romantic life, my finances, and my hobbies/skills/interests.
Fear not though, I am not going to go into the minutiae of each of this year’s goals (buy me a coffee/beer and I will happily share them with you).
So, what am I going to blog about?
My final blog of 2023 was a summary of the numbers behind mine and Shiageto’s year.
Invariably this was mostly a reflection on all the successes of the year.
Don’t get me wrong these were great and I enjoyed every minute of them (well maybe not the trademark dispute).
In fact, the last 3 years for Shiageto Consulting (once we got past the horrors inflicted on the fledgling business by Covid) have been amazing.
We’ve grown from nothing to a slightly bigger nothing and this is just the start [watch this space for a blog about that].
Despite this, I still can’t but help dwelling on the other side of the business — the failures we’ve had along the way…
Why focus on failure when you have really good successes?
Success is great, success is amazing but here’s the thing; successes are only ever temporary.
Sure you can celebrate a new client, a new contract, a new team member you bring on board, a new country you’ve expanded to, or another amazing piece of feedback but the glow eventually fades.
The fallacy of the human mind is that we quickly become desensitised by our successes and the rising tide of our expectations means it’s not long before we are seeking an even bigger success — this can be immensely dangerous.
It’s why at Shiageto, the only metric that we really value is how much fun we are having each week, and why I decoupled my own earnings from the success of the business when I started it.
The other thing about successes is that they can only really be judged over an extended period of time. What might seem like a great new client win today can evaporate a year later; go ask someone who has previously been successful but lost it: How much happiness does that success bring them now?
It can be the reverse with the failures, they stick with you for life.
What failures am I dwelling on from 2023?
I have a catalogue of failures that immediately come to mind when I think back over my life — missing a key deadline at university, failing to meet my targets in one high-profile job, and not investing enough in the key relationship from my younger days, to name but a few.
The key events to add to the failure list in 2023 were:
- A main client turning around and stopping 95% of work with Shiageto after we’d agreed the contract extension
- Another client deciding not to renew our project and giving our contract to a competitor
- An attempted partnership with another consulting firm not working out
- A new contractor not working out and having to step in to pick up the pieces
- Getting evicted
- One of my private member's talks being canceled 48 hours before the event with no reason given
- A promising romance that I ended up being ghosted on
Obviously, in the grand scale of things, all these vary immensely in importance and many won’t go on to make the big final list of my life but as things lie when I reflect on 2023, these are the ones that stand out.
Is it all doom and gloom?
Don’t get me wrong, the word failure doesn’t mean that there was no good from these, but these are the big incidents that, as much as anything, have shaped my life/year and come to mind.
Invariably I always look for the positives from any big car-crash moment but the thing is, these events permeate your life. They are there always lurking on the periphery; they chip away at your focus (poor FQ), the memory of them can manifest into negative behaviours (poor EQ) and if you are not careful, you can end up making the same mistakes more than once (poor IQ).
That’s why, I guess, therapists or good friends are very handy — and why I find it cathartic to blog about these.
So, as we kick off 2024, I will invariably have these incidents in mind but I assure you my friends I will very much be striding confidently into the year ahead.
I hope it is the same for each and every one of you :)
Faris
Faris is the CEO and Founder of Shiageto Consulting, an innovative consultancy that helps firms and individuals sharpen their effectiveness. Connect with him here
Success = IQ x EQ x FQ
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