Resolutions Schmesolutions; here’s how I get myself to be a better version of myself
“You’re going to do it!”
“No, I’m not”
“You have to do it!”
“I’m a 42 year old man, I don’t have to do anything [well, within limits]”
“Look! It’s basically already one week into the New Year, you’ve been eating non-stop over the holidays and haven’t done any exercise so you need to get off your fat behind…Get out of bed, you are going to the gym whether you like it or not.”
Oh, I do love the inner monologue that goes on inside my head sometimes. The above is pretty much a word-for-word playback of the conversation I had with myself this morning when my alarm went off.
Now, don’t mistake the self-argument about the gym as some sort of New Year resolution. It’s a little more complicated than that…
Why I don’t do resolutions:
I long ago decided not to do resolutions; they are pretty meaningless for me. It’s not like my behaviour will change just with a resolution. After all about two-thirds of folk abandon their resolutions within a month so why would I be any different.
Part of the fact that I abandoned resolutions was that I know how my brain works; I get motivated more by challenges, accountability, gamification and a little bit of visioning. Once I had worked that out, I came up with a different system that is just perfect for me; allow me to explain.
What I do instead:
- Challenges - a few years ago, a friend and I really wanted to get back into running so we set up a challenge where we had to run 3 times a week, every week for a year. The first person to fail had to buy the other person an expensive dinner. Because we are both driven by a challenge (and as we are skinflints), we both stubbornly refused to miss a session and we got to the end of the year each of us having run over 156 times for a minimum of 30 mins and covering hundreds of miles.
We enjoyed doing it so much that we did the challenge in subsequent years and expanded it to cover other aspects of life including book reading, staying on top of our finances, learning new skills and more. We reached a point where others now join us in our challenge each year and great fun it is too.
2. Accountability — I’m a sucker for if I’ve told people I’m going to do something or my name is against a task (assuming it’s a worthwhile task) then I will damn well do it. Knowing this about myself is a powerful tool as I make sure to share my difficult tasks and goals with those around me so that they become less optional.
Many a time when I know I have something I don’t really want to do or am finding hard to start I will ring or text a colleague, a friend or a family member and tell them about it. That simple act alone will spur me to get it done (they don’t even need to harass me).
3. Gamification - here’s one I learnt from my teaching days that was amazing at getting sceptical 11-year olds to learn algebra; if you’re having fun then you don’t even realise that you’re doing something you don’t want to do.
With that in mind I try and convert pretty much everything into a game which helps me adopt new habits. It could be how quickly can I get out of bed and into the gym or how many glasses of water can I drink in a day or how many nights in a row can I get 7 hours of sleep (pb on that last one is not very good I’m afraid 🙄).
4. Visioning - nothing like the power of my imagination to plant a beautiful picture of what life will be like once I have done that thing. I have a very creative brain and when harnessed for things like this it can be an amazing motivator.
5. Don’t beat myself up - there is a fifth and final technique that goes hand-in hand with the above four and that is to play the long game. I used to stress out if I had set my mind to something and then I missed a session or didn’t set a personal best. This I realised was also as harmful as not wanting to be a better version of myself and would often undo all the good work I was doing.
Nowadays, if for some reason something happens that throws me a little askew from my goals, I take a moment to briefly mourn it, laugh a little and then get on with my day. I admit if it’s a big screw up then I will conduct a mini pre-mortem (i.e. brainstorm what is the worst that could happen from not having done this) and remind myself all the good stuff I have already done towards my goal.
Looking to the year ahead
So there you go; you’ll find I’m a no-resolutions zone for my self-improvement. Instead every year I create a set of goals that cover my career/business, my health, my family/friends/community, my romantic life, my finances and my hobbies/skills/interests. With all my techniques listed above I genuinely look forward to working on my new goals each year so roll on 2022…🎉
[Oh, and if you’re wondering about whether I made it to the gym or not…]
Faris is the CEO and Founder of Shiageto Consulting, an innovative consultancy that helps firms and individuals sharpen their effectiveness. Connect with him here
Success = IQ x EQ x FQ
