You may not play golf but the story I’m about to tell you should resonate (p.s. it’s about psychological safety)
I’ll be honest, I’m a pretty terrible golfer.
The majority of the time I struggle to get the ball to go where I want, I get angry with myself for a terrible shot and I generally feel bad for the person/people that I am playing with.
The main reasons that I carry on playing are that it’s a fantastic way to spend time with friends and the fact that the occasional good shot gives me hope that I do have it in me to be a better golfer (this blog isn’t about friendships or hope, although both are actually fascinating topics when it comes to effectiveness).
No, this blog is actually about psychological safety and the impact it has on my golf game.
What is psychological safety?
For those who may not know, psychological safety is a term that explains how comfortable you feel with another individual or group.
I like to describe it as imagine you’re back to being a kid and you’re starting at a new school. Inevitably you’re feeling nervous at meeting a whole bunch of new people and whether you will fit in or not.
On day one you may pick up the courage to go up to a new group of people and ask if you can hang out with them — this is level 1 of psychological safety where you are comfortable enough to spend time with them.
As time passes you feel more part of the group and as well as learning from the them, you find your voice and comfortable enough to ask questions — this is level 2.
A little more time passes and, as you get integrated with the group, you soon feel comfortable sharing your own views — this is level 3.
Finally, at some point if everything goes well, you are so ingrained that you are even comfortable challenging opinions, taking risks and even failing in front of the group — this is level 4.
So, what’s this got to do with golf?
Psychological safety is around us in everything we do. Every relationship you have, be it business or personal, is steeped in psychological safety. If you really think about it you can probably assign a level to every individual and team dynamic you have.
[N.B. Psychological safety levels can change over time so don’t assume if you get to level 4 that you will stay there, particularly if you don’t invest in the relationship].
When it comes to golf I can actually measure the impact psychological safety has on my game and this was demonstrated perfectly in 2 recent games I played.
Game 1: I was playing with 3 guys; one I knew well, the other two I’d only just met. As such I’d put the level of Psychological safety at a 2.
Game 2: I played one-on-one with an old friend who I’ve known for 20 years and we are very close; I would score this at level 4.
Admittedly we were playing on 2 different courses but aside from that the level of difficulty was about the same (I was about to say on par but nobody needs a golf pun right now).
Can you guess the result? Which game did I play better in?
In case you haven’t worked it out yet, the answer was far and away the second game. In fact I shot a whopping 18 strokes better (about a 15% improvement). Not just that but I enjoyed the day much more.
It’s something that I long ago realised, that the higher the degree of psychological safety the better my happiness, my effectiveness and that it’s pretty much the same in all other areas of life.
It’s why I produce my best working with others that I am more comfortable with or give much better speeches when I know the audience.
It’s the difference in the enjoyment on a 10th date as opposed to a first date.
It’s part of the reason people hate random networking events as opposed to chatting to people they know.
It’s why standing in a lift full of strangers can feel massively awkward or why your bladder might refuse to operate at a crowded toilet in a stadium.
As I say psychological safety is all around us and I bet you can think of lots of examples that relate to your own life.
Shiageto and Psychological Safety
Because I realise it’s importance, so much of the work we do at Shiageto is designed to quickly build psychological safety both with and for our clients. How we do this is through a variety of techniques (ones I apply in my own life and for my business too); some may seem silly but pound for pound, this is some of the most important things we do to get the best out of companies and help unlock their success.
If next time you’re finding things a little bit tricky, be it on the golf course or at work, ask yourself honestly what level of psychological safety you feel and if you want some ideas on how to improve it then drop me a line.
In the meantime you may, or may not, find me on the golf course…
Faris is the CEO and Founder of Shiageto Consulting, an innovative consultancy that helps firms and individuals sharpen their effectiveness.
Success = IQ x EQ x FQ
